So hmm..

Things going on lately.... finished work yesterday until this Jan. So that's nice.

Got to see my friend Danielle, who I haven't seen in FOREVER. Nearly a year! Its because she lives in Alabama so, being that thats so close to FL and all...but yeah, she drove down to see me, and ended up staying the night. It was really nice and i'm so glad she made the drive, cause it was a four hour drive total for her (two there, two back, give or take a bit). We met at the hotel and then went to have dinner at Ruby Tuesday's with my mom. After dinner we apparently were locked out of the car, so we walked a little bit to the Dollar Store to try and rig a way to get the damn key to open, lolz. It was a success, clearly, and a mini adventure at that.

V is for Victory!

After that we went back to the hotel where Danielle and I spent the next couple hours in the work out room practicing dance and messing around, and I mean next couple hours...it was like...from 7:30 ish to midnight. But we had fun! We worked on the dance for my audition, and talked about things in general.

I know I already said it but i'm really glad she came...I told her how I feel like its really easy to just assume people know how much they mean to you, and then suddenly they're gone, and you have to wonder if they ever knew or not. And how I want to become this person, and how I'm working at it, and the things I know I need to do and steps I need to take...and why i'm making these changes. I think its good to know these things, as long as you can do what you need to to change them. I dont know...I know I repeat myself a lot in here but I just can't figure out how to express the way i'm feeling and what it is I want to say...bleh.

Super Junior(슈퍼주니어)_미인아_뮤직비디오(MusicVideo)

Kombanwa.

Hello hello...

So today was the start of Operation: KO!! lolz.

Totally did a power rangers pose right there. But yes, today was the official start of KO project. Like i've said before i'm working hard to become the type of person I wish to be, which means changing a lot of things. Today was the official start of this. I went to the gym and spent a while there doing all sorts of what can only be described a torturious activities-- lolz. Na, it hurt a little (will probably hurt more tomorrow) but i'm glad I did it. I've watched what I've been eating and have worked in exercises through the day just in random things. I just did who knows how many situps with a weight on my chest while waiting on my PSD file to be uploaded into my school dropbox.

Working hard! Its strange but the group Super Junior is actually a big motivator for me, lolz. Probably because I see these boys all close to my age living the type of life I wish I could because they worked hard and knew what they wanted from a young age, so thats a big source of inspiration.

I also want to work on my personality some...Lolz. I think I mean well and then I say something that seems very harsh, lmfao, and I don't mean to do that. I guess to fix yourself you have to know yourself, and i'm only human so my flaws are endless...

Lets see. I want to be a more gentle person, in terms of dealing with other people. I am sarcastic and a bit of a sadist by nature, but I think I need to balance this with expressing how much I love these people around me more. Its okay to feel that way and know I love a person, but I want those people to know it without a doubt as well.

I want to be a better dancer,which is something that can only be done through working hard at it, so thats obvious. Same with japanese. I want to one day be able to speak Japanese, Korean, and Russian, lolz. Cherokee as well, if I'm able. I have many goals, but none of them are impossible. I would love to be a model as well *___* Lolz. Sounds so arrogant and random but ah,...it'd be nice, no?

Boredom strikes.

*If you were granted three wishes from an angel or genie what would you want? mom to not have to work, mom to be happy with no more stress, me to be happy
*If you could meet any celebrity or other personality in the world, who would it be and why? Donghae, because he seems to be sincere and hardworking, is a great dancer, and seems like a fun person.
*Who is your favourite super hero? Sailor Moon =P
*If you were an animal then what would you be? I dont know....an otter?
*When you were growing up what did you want to become in life? Famous, lmfao.
*Which is your favourite song that you would sing at a karaoke bar? Currently I wanna do Sorry Sorry in Japanese, lolz.
*Which is the trait you love the most and least about yourself? I love that I love to travel and experience things, but I hate that at the same time because it makes day to day life difficult.
*Which is your favourite cartoon character? Ah, Sailor Moon, lolz.
*Which character in a book best describes who you are? Mmm...not sure. The Awakening?
*What is favorite fantasy? That I could be well off doing what I love to the point I can travel and experience life.
*Which is your colour that best describes you or stands for your personality? I've always liked darker shades of blue. Sapphire.
*Which is the one romance depicted in the movies that you would want to experience in your life? The ones that happen through adventure.
*Which is the celebrity or actor you would want to date? Ah...mmm. Donghae/Eeteuk/Eunhyuk/TOP are all on there lolz. All for different reasons.
*What is the one thing that you have done in your life that you would want to undo? I wish I had figured out my passions earlier in life.
*Do you have many friends? Many? Maybe.
*Describe yourself in a single sentence? Searching.
*What are the flowers that you believe describe your personality and how? Ah...Sunflowers? Cause when i'm happy i'm really happy and when i'm down, i'm really down.
*If you could cook for me what would it be? Not good- lolz.
*If you were any particular geometric shape what would it be? None, I hate geometric shapes.
*Which song best fits your image and why? Boom Boom/ Bonamana ~.^ lolz, I wish.
*Do you have a tattoo, where is it located and what does it stand for? Two, HIM symbol on my wrist with "Protege" above it, which is protect in french, then rose with shamrock in middle for me and wes.
*Who are your favourite author and your favourite book? Dont know that I have one but there are several books I enjoy.
*Do you believe in the afterlife? I hope for one.
*Do you believe in soul mates? I think so, even though sometimes I dont think they necessarily fall in love.
*If God were a woman what would be the one thing she would change about the world? I dont think she'd stop with one thing.
*If you were to be reborn who would you want to be born as? Hmm...probably...Minzy =P She's young, powerful dancer, and already incredibly successful.
*What is the thing you most like and dislike about me? I dont know you.
*What would you do if your partner cheated on you? Computer through his windshield, which he also knows. If you're gonna take the time to cheat, just end the relationship.
*Do you believe human beings are monogamous by nature? Not in the least.
*What is the one thing that you would want your children to learn about life? You're given situations and then your life is what you make of those.
*If you could travel back in time and meet yourself as a 10 year old kid what advice would you want to give him/her? DANCE FOOL! DANCE!! Learn that japanese! Learn that Korean! Do it now!
*What would you like to change about the world? Small minds.
*If you were an activist what would want to protest against? Animal/environmental abuse.
*If you could be the Prime Minister of your country for a day what would you do? Probably hate my job a lot cause of all the people involved.
*If you could be any mystic or a holy or religious man who would it be and why? Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Mmm...

Hello there...

My first blog here. What to do, what to do...I guess i'm writing this as a way to clear my thoughts and a way to keep myself inspired... lately i've been feeling very adrift and unsure,even though I know I have my set goals that I am working towards. I think i'm just feeling uneasy because i'm feeling alone. I have my friends, but all of my friends live in other states so its hard to stay in touch....and even still, its difficult to do things that friends should do. When i'm happy, I want to celebrate with my friends...when i've accomplished something difficult, it'd be fun to have that someone there that I can be like, " look, look at what i've been able to do!" ...and vice versa, when my friends are sad, or sick, i'd like to be able to be the person to come over and do things to make them happy/make them feel better...these are the things friends do, right? ...but you can't hug someone from half a world away... ah. These kind of thoughts really get me down, but I feel like they're the majority of my thinking these days.

Mm.

My goals:

1. Grow as an artist and be able to build/illustrate well.
2. Create work that has a meaning and a purpose.
3. Learn japanese
4. move to Japan!
5. Become amazing dancer!
6. Become a good person.

I'm working hard at all of these, but some seem harder than others. I think I need to sit down and reflect more on where I stand as a person...I try to do this a lot, to keep myself in check, but lately I feel like i'm lacking a whole lot as a person. I feel like there are so many things I want to give and share and can't...ah, back to friends being gone. Maybe it's because i'm sick right now, but I'm thinking on this a lot. I want to be the type of person who inspires others because they themselves are trying really hard as a person. I feel like a lot of people nowadays are content with sitting around waiting for the things they want to come to them, and are ok with just being there instead of living. It's driving me insane.

I miss my friends, I miss myself. Great first post, no? lolz.

Mm....wishing I could help more people, but before I can help others, I need to keep improving myself. I will work hard to be a good person, to improve. I'm only human and have many many flaws...I'm short tempered even though I try not to be, I'm sarcastic and I think that covers up how much some people really mean to me...I know I can be lazy, ... I know i'm selfish at times as well. Help me work hard to fix these things so I can show the world the best possible me. I want to be the best person I can be for the people I love. Fighting! lolz.

ah.....

who am I?